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Caregiver Recognition: April L. Hill

urbanagingnews

April Hill has been Joe I. Hill’s sidekick since the very beginning. “As a child, I accompanied dad on numerous adventures, from work, to church, to family events. I always wanted to follow him around.  I often say, "I should've been born a boy,” says April, 59.  


Since 1968, Joe owned and operated a lawn and snow care business, until he was no longer able to work. In January 2020, at the age of 84, he contracted COVID-19, survived six months of   hospitalizations, a stint in rehab and a nursing home stay. 


Supporting Joe after COVID was more challenging because he developed dementia.


“I had noticed signs before COVID but I think it exacerbated his dementia. He was angry with me because he felt I had taken his ability to drive and his love for work away from him.  His health had become too challenged for me to allow him to work,” said the retired Detroit Public Library employee.


“My brother took over the labor of the business, and dad has begged to work every single day since.”


April had become a full-time babysitter for a family member’s newborn, and tried to simultaneously care for her dad. As the disease progressed, Joe became increasingly uncooperative and developed aggressive behaviors towards April and her two siblings who also share the home. 


“Before I kept dad and the baby [too], he was alone during the day while they worked, and content with dressing himself, laying on the sofa, and not eating for the majority of the day. I felt this would lead to him losing his mobility and sought out PACE of Southeast Michigan for adult day care.”


April soon learned that PACE offered housing and she applied for residency in the Green House program.  


“I personally never had any feelings of guilt. I can’t speak for my siblings, however, they trust my decisions when it comes to dad,” says the eldest of three siblings.


April says this arrangement was working out well for almost three years, until her dad started to become aggressive. He was experiencing Sundowner’s Syndrome, a group of adverse behaviors people who have Alzheimer's or dementia can experience once the sun sets.


“The nurse and social worker said dad was no longer a ‘good fit’ and needed a facility with a memory care unit. His social worker assisted with the placement and after we met with the admitting staff, we went forward with the relocation. He was initially confused but has slowly accepted the change,” April says.


The family’s involvement in caregiving doesn’t stop when a loved one is in a skilled care facility. 


“Someone from the family visits at least three to four days weekly. My siblings and I either visit together or separately. Dad’s brother takes him to church and Male Chorus rehearsals, and his sister-in-law visits frequently. I ensure proper care and discussions with the facility in person and on a case-by-case basis. We  make sure his needs are met and that he knows he’s loved.”


April says she’s learned that caregiving requires compassion, unconditional love, a well-executed  family support system, and continuous self-care.


The first-time grandmother looks forward to adding her own grandchild to the list of those she cares for. She says there are similarities in the duties because caring for a loved one with dementia requires “the same attributes you must possess if you're dealing with a baby or child, because in so many ways the care is very similar.”

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